Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Monkey Business

Bureaucratic chimps
Slaving at the brewery soon
Beer improves outcomes

A prehensile tail really helps with that capping machine!

I was going to call this one Minkey Business, but no-one would have got the reference to Peter Sellers and The Party. Either that, or I'd have to put a whaling reference in there soewhere instead of chimps.

That's just a part of the great tapestry!



Friday, 18 July 2008


Calamari slime
Public dissection of squid
Ick! Marinara!

Eeeeeuuuuuuuuoooooo......oh so icky. Icky and slimy. Icky, slimy and gooey. But mesmerising....
Museum Victoria recently had a public dissection of a giant squid (nicknamed "Haddo" - gotta love Aussies) that was caught in a fishing trawl of Western Victoria. The video is long, but, well, so was the squid.

Actually, seafood makes me hurl.


Thursday, 17 July 2008

Government Speak

blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah Blah-dy blah
bureaucratic chat

Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Imagining is best



Let your imagination make your own haiku!

Monday, 14 July 2008

can you see the theme yet?

Starving - Need food now
Starving Starving no food here
Starving - will die soon

Friday, 11 July 2008

Foamy Lunchtime haiku

Weekly Friday blues
Longing for the final bell
Foamy beer awaits

Foamy. bubbley and foamy. Bubbley, tasty and foamy. A truly excellent combination. All it needs now is to served by scantily clad buxom nubile wenches (or whatever the male equivalent is for the girls, unless you'd prefer to be served by some appropriately adorned strumpet, or if the blokes prefered the option....oh dear, I'm getting confused....)

Anyway. Lunch. Not foamy, but on the path to foamy enlightenment.

Cheers and beers


Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Mammalia, the warm blooded ones!

Cute furry critters
Sporadically woolly too
Tasty mammal treats

Mammalia, Tasty. And no comments about "oooo its not a fcuking haiku, it's got 8 syllables in the second line" bollocks. That last "a" is "swallowed" so not actually pronounced. That, and I don't care. Since no one comments anyway. It makes me feel all alone and really quite vulnerable, you utter, utter pri......

If you don't like it, post your own damn haikus! Yeah. Go on. Dare you. DARE YOU.....DARE YOU

I have to hunt and gather ex-cute furry, woolly or maybe feathered critters.

Monday, 7 July 2008

And Clostridium as well
Not a tasty lunch

A special neurotoxin haiku. A cup of Clostridium botulinum would be sufficient to depopulate the earth. What a cheery thought.

That would make it equivalent to about 2.5 mime artists or buskers.

People inject it (botulinum, not the mimes) into their face to keep wrinkles at bay. Stuff it up, and your problem with aging will be comprehensively fixed.


Friday, 4 July 2008

Beer. Beer will solve all my problems!

Wacky Japanese
Poems with odd syllables
Flim-flam intellect

That's right. Time for Fridays review of our National intellectual challenges.

People are complaining about lifting the amount of water able to be traded so the Federal Government can buy it back to use it for Murray Darling environmental flows. There's irony there somewhere.

Departments are hesitant to spend money on training their staff, but are happy to toss lots of dollars for a 3 hour self-congratulatory-pat-on-the-back-piss-up or blow millions on a new ticketing system that we don't really need and hasn't even been successfully tested. There's irony there too...

And for the final irony, we're heading out to a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch on American Independence Day...

Oh the irony...

Well. That's enough bitching.

Three Ravens Brewery is having a beer launch this arvo. Good stuff! Come along if you like! Great beer. Cheap. Beer. Beer.....what a wonderful word. Beer. Soothing and foamy, and I get more attractive and funny after every pint!

Get back to work.



Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Vegetarian Anger Subside!

Vego ire swells
Carnivores flee a spanking
Content, they retire

No, I don't get it either. But its time the vegetarians amongst us (you know who you are! Admit it! Come out free from the meat-lovers enforced closet of shame!) stood up to be counted...

If they had the energy to stand, that is!



PS I'm ashamed at the lack of comments on

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Digging for meat....

Sustaining, nutrition low
Tastless grey gruel

At least you know where you stand, oh scrawny, complaining, animal loving vego. If you had enough energy, it'd be worth an argument!