Thursday, 22 May 2008

Vulcanised, galvanised and pasturised

A belaar favinit sokasitau
Sokhik mals sak-tor eik
Estuhl abru-nalatra az'ir'kh'ar

Yes! This time it's vulcan! Damn those logical aliens with their mind melding and logic games.

They deserve a rude haiku!



Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Oh the Confusion....

Huffle is confused
Boy or girl or cat or dog
Decide you hussy!

Nothing to do with lunch, but I don't care.

Now, for not Monday's sluightly dull and unimportant facts....

I don't like Mondays, and I cedrtainly I don't like Don Maclean's American Pie song. Modonna butchered it further. It was ironic - I was happy that Modonna made a hash job of the song and made it sound disgusting, but sad that it revived the garbage.

But, like every other teenager, I learnt the lyrics, all of them. It hurt. But what the hell has it got to do with Buddy Holly dying? And what's the Chevy/levve bit about? So here are some uninteresting sort of facts:

Buddy Holly died in a aeroplane crash, during a snowstorm, on 3rd February, 1959. Rumour has it that the plane was called American Pie. Another rumour suggests that Buddy Holly dated a Miss America chick during a pageant and broke up with her on 3 February, 1959. I can see it now, plumiting to earth in an aeroplane, telling some bird that it just wasn't working for him and....splat....

As an aside, Don Maclean wasn't a paperboy, so he didn't deliver newspapers. Maybe he should have. Supposedly it's a reference to Buddy Holly's only otther job other than being a musician.
Now, the car and levee bit - it's thought to be a reference to a murder of 3 black college students, which became the subject of "Mississippi Burning" They were buried in a levee.Good for them. Watch the movie, it's supposed to be good.

The next bit about good ol' boys get pissed on whisky and rye singing "this'll be the day that I die"etc etc etc boring boring boring, is supposed to be a reference to all 3 singers who died in the crash (Buddy, Richie and Jiles - aka the "Big Bopper") having a bit of a sing song about their own deaths. In "That'll be the Day" there's a line "That'll be the day that I die". I don't really think either of the three were really thinking about it so much as they spread their remains orver a considerably large area.

Now, personally, I don't think Little Don thought about it that much, and because it became a hit in 1972, I have a feeling it may have had something more to do with mind altering drugs, or disco. I reckon it was disco.

So, the moral - don't end your name in "ie" - let's all be grateful that little Johnie Farnham changed it to just plain "John". And don't do drugs. They give you runny poo (Thankyou Homeowners!)



PPS Great segue don't you think? Segue. Stupid word.

PPPS Reminds me of that joke "What's the difference between a musician and a family pizza?"

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Oh the shame!

nga'chug tlhaQ
ghobe' tIn be'Hom
heghbat jIyajbe'

Yup, that's right! A challenge for all you nerds out there! Klingon Haiku!

I'm so ashamed....oh the shame...

Cheerio then


chop'a'? Qapla'

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Catawailing cacophonies Batman!

Huffle won't add this
To his list of favourites
Kitty dementia

I dare Huffle to add me to his blog thing. I double dare him!

Soft. Thats all....soft...

(ok, and fluffy)

....and no jokes about pussy, thank you very much!

Lunchtime Haiku and strange but true facts...

Around ragged rocks
Dashed hopes of satisfaction
Rascally denial

Yes. The lunchtime haiku meets the nursery rhyme. Yay. I'm excited.

Level 11 produces too much frivolity. Especially for a Monday. And since it's not Monday, here's Monday's strange but true fact:

The silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload
And nobody's gonna go to school today
She's going to make them stay at home

Well, actually, this bit of the Boomtown Rats song "I don't like Mondays" isn't correct. There were no silicon chips in anyones head (unlike in Buffy) and they did go to school that day!

Brenda Spencer is due for release in 2009. She was the inspiration for the song. In 1979, aged 16, she went to Cleveland Elementary School and shot a few kiddies and teachers, killing the Principal and a teacher. 8 kiddies were wounded. She told a reporter "I don't like Mondays. This livens the day up". Ironic, hey?

Now, before you all panic - they were all American. She was given the rifle as a pesent from her father. Good one dad! Maybe one too many episodes of Supernanny?

Now, that's topical (and possibly slightly insulting). Don't worry, I'll do a thing on Princess Diana just to really get up people's noses!


Monday, 12 May 2008

Return of the lunchtime haiku

Mondayitis strikes
Early every Monday
Fridays too far gone

Ah the Haiku. The first in a week. But no one missed it. The world didn't mourn the lunchtime haiku. No-one cared. It's a sad sign of how dispassionate, dejected and another d-word the world has become...

But at least the brewery was good. I helped give birth to at least a dozen slabs of gorgeous, sweet beer. I'd encourage everyone to get in touch with their brewer within!

Just to see if the water sector has improved, or whether they're cold...How cold? cold. Many thanks to Andre 3000.

Why do I even bother trying to reference modern popular culture. It's crap.


I think no-one comments on the haiku blog because it lacks that personal intrigue...

Touch the brewer within! Feel, carees and excite your internal beer making genie. Look it up!

Thursday, 8 May 2008

long day of not much

Oh how the day drags

Stretch yawn drink coffee, repeat

Why does it drag so?

Friday, 2 May 2008

Friday Haiku. Inspirational!

Oh lunch, my lunch, soon
Turmoil over chips, astray
Elusive inner piece

It's amazing the difference a comma makes. It takes a non-semnsical haiku and makes it moreso. Go comma! go go go!

Thursday, 1 May 2008

Snigger annd Rupert sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I....screw that...

Snigger and Rupert.
Steal dried fruit and gorge themselves.
Both get stomachs pumped.

This only one story of those two bloody expensive dogs!
Who needs haikus that toture small fluffy puppies when real life provides such entertainment!

Raining Cats and Dogs!

No more puppy fun
Offensive humour severed
Kittens should beware!

Ok Ok, I can get a hint. No more haiku torture of little fluffy puppies. Dead or alive. We'll just have to cook the last of the pets up instead! Vietnamese soup anyone?

Bah, No sense of humour. None. Anyone would think we all worked for government!