Lunch; it's always far
It is never here right now
Why? Why is it so?
Wednesday 6 March 2013
Monday 1 February 2010
Expanding horizons
Lunch, always my hunch
Noon boringly consistent
Universal truth
Y'know this haiku thing? I think its time to encourage a broader spectrum of poetic vicissitude.
So now I think I'll incorporate other types of poetry, with varying prosody - form, rhythm and meter to accomplish truly moving verbal art. If only so I can incorporate those imortal words...
"Hard hearted harbinger of haggis"
Can I squeeze in a trumpet player, double bass and snare
Into this languishing, life-limiting loge called
A workstation?
So when does free-form poetry become just
random sentences
strung together by idiots?
Where Is my evil minion flying monkey with my beer?
BEER...not dogs....uurgh! Stupid, stupid, stupid evil minion flying monkeys!
Noon boringly consistent
Universal truth
Y'know this haiku thing? I think its time to encourage a broader spectrum of poetic vicissitude.
So now I think I'll incorporate other types of poetry, with varying prosody - form, rhythm and meter to accomplish truly moving verbal art. If only so I can incorporate those imortal words...
"Hard hearted harbinger of haggis"
Can I squeeze in a trumpet player, double bass and snare
Into this languishing, life-limiting loge called
A workstation?
So when does free-form poetry become just
random sentences
strung together by idiots?
Where Is my evil minion flying monkey with my beer?
BEER...not dogs....uurgh! Stupid, stupid, stupid evil minion flying monkeys!
Tuesday 27 January 2009
Wednesday 30 July 2008
Monkey Business
Bureaucratic chimps
Slaving at the brewery soon
Beer improves outcomes
A prehensile tail really helps with that capping machine!
I was going to call this one Minkey Business, but no-one would have got the reference to Peter Sellers and The Party. Either that, or I'd have to put a whaling reference in there soewhere instead of chimps.
That's just a part of the great tapestry!
Cheers
Neil
Slaving at the brewery soon
Beer improves outcomes
A prehensile tail really helps with that capping machine!
I was going to call this one Minkey Business, but no-one would have got the reference to Peter Sellers and The Party. Either that, or I'd have to put a whaling reference in there soewhere instead of chimps.
That's just a part of the great tapestry!
Cheers
Neil
Friday 18 July 2008
Squidalicious
Calamari slime
Public dissection of squid
Ick! Marinara!
Eeeeeuuuuuuuuoooooo......oh so icky. Icky and slimy. Icky, slimy and gooey. But mesmerising....
Museum Victoria recently had a public dissection of a giant squid (nicknamed "Haddo" - gotta love Aussies) that was caught in a fishing trawl of Western Victoria. The video is long, but, well, so was the squid.
http://museumvictoria.com.au/giantsquid
Actually, seafood makes me hurl.
Cheers
Neil
Public dissection of squid
Ick! Marinara!
Eeeeeuuuuuuuuoooooo......oh so icky. Icky and slimy. Icky, slimy and gooey. But mesmerising....
Museum Victoria recently had a public dissection of a giant squid (nicknamed "Haddo" - gotta love Aussies) that was caught in a fishing trawl of Western Victoria. The video is long, but, well, so was the squid.
http://museumvictoria.com.au/giantsquid
Actually, seafood makes me hurl.
Cheers
Neil
Thursday 17 July 2008
Wednesday 16 July 2008
Monday 14 July 2008
can you see the theme yet?
Starving - Need food now
Starving Starving no food here
Starving - will die soon
Starving Starving no food here
Starving - will die soon
Friday 11 July 2008
Foamy Lunchtime haiku
Weekly Friday blues
Longing for the final bell
Foamy beer awaits
Foamy. bubbley and foamy. Bubbley, tasty and foamy. A truly excellent combination. All it needs now is to served by scantily clad buxom nubile wenches (or whatever the male equivalent is for the girls, unless you'd prefer to be served by some appropriately adorned strumpet, or if the blokes prefered the option....oh dear, I'm getting confused....)
Anyway. Lunch. Not foamy, but on the path to foamy enlightenment.
Cheers and beers
Neil
Longing for the final bell
Foamy beer awaits
Foamy. bubbley and foamy. Bubbley, tasty and foamy. A truly excellent combination. All it needs now is to served by scantily clad buxom nubile wenches (or whatever the male equivalent is for the girls, unless you'd prefer to be served by some appropriately adorned strumpet, or if the blokes prefered the option....oh dear, I'm getting confused....)
Anyway. Lunch. Not foamy, but on the path to foamy enlightenment.
Cheers and beers
Neil
Tuesday 8 July 2008
Mammalia, the warm blooded ones!
Cute furry critters
Sporadically woolly too
Tasty mammal treats
Mammalia, Tasty. And no comments about "oooo its not a fcuking haiku, it's got 8 syllables in the second line" bollocks. That last "a" is "swallowed" so not actually pronounced. That, and I don't care. Since no one comments anyway. It makes me feel all alone and really quite vulnerable, you utter, utter pri......
If you don't like it, post your own damn haikus! Yeah. Go on. Dare you. DARE YOU.....DARE YOU
I have to hunt and gather ex-cute furry, woolly or maybe feathered critters.
Sporadically woolly too
Tasty mammal treats
Mammalia, Tasty. And no comments about "oooo its not a fcuking haiku, it's got 8 syllables in the second line" bollocks. That last "a" is "swallowed" so not actually pronounced. That, and I don't care. Since no one comments anyway. It makes me feel all alone and really quite vulnerable, you utter, utter pri......
If you don't like it, post your own damn haikus! Yeah. Go on. Dare you. DARE YOU.....DARE YOU
I have to hunt and gather ex-cute furry, woolly or maybe feathered critters.
Monday 7 July 2008
Tetanospasmin
And Clostridium as well
Not a tasty lunch
A special neurotoxin haiku. A cup of Clostridium botulinum would be sufficient to depopulate the earth. What a cheery thought.
That would make it equivalent to about 2.5 mime artists or buskers.
People inject it (botulinum, not the mimes) into their face to keep wrinkles at bay. Stuff it up, and your problem with aging will be comprehensively fixed.
Cheers
Neil
And Clostridium as well
Not a tasty lunch
A special neurotoxin haiku. A cup of Clostridium botulinum would be sufficient to depopulate the earth. What a cheery thought.
That would make it equivalent to about 2.5 mime artists or buskers.
People inject it (botulinum, not the mimes) into their face to keep wrinkles at bay. Stuff it up, and your problem with aging will be comprehensively fixed.
Cheers
Neil
Friday 4 July 2008
Beer. Beer will solve all my problems!
Wacky Japanese
Poems with odd syllables
Flim-flam intellect
That's right. Time for Fridays review of our National intellectual challenges.
People are complaining about lifting the amount of water able to be traded so the Federal Government can buy it back to use it for Murray Darling environmental flows. There's irony there somewhere.
Departments are hesitant to spend money on training their staff, but are happy to toss lots of dollars for a 3 hour self-congratulatory-pat-on-the-back-piss-up or blow millions on a new ticketing system that we don't really need and hasn't even been successfully tested. There's irony there too...
And for the final irony, we're heading out to a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch on American Independence Day...
Oh the irony...
Well. That's enough bitching.
Three Ravens Brewery is having a beer launch this arvo. Good stuff! Come along if you like! Great beer. Cheap. Beer. Beer.....what a wonderful word. Beer. Soothing and foamy, and I get more attractive and funny after every pint!
http://www.3ravens.com.au/
Get back to work.
Cheerio
Neil
Poems with odd syllables
Flim-flam intellect
That's right. Time for Fridays review of our National intellectual challenges.
People are complaining about lifting the amount of water able to be traded so the Federal Government can buy it back to use it for Murray Darling environmental flows. There's irony there somewhere.
Departments are hesitant to spend money on training their staff, but are happy to toss lots of dollars for a 3 hour self-congratulatory-pat-on-the-back-piss-up or blow millions on a new ticketing system that we don't really need and hasn't even been successfully tested. There's irony there too...
And for the final irony, we're heading out to a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch on American Independence Day...
Oh the irony...
Well. That's enough bitching.
Three Ravens Brewery is having a beer launch this arvo. Good stuff! Come along if you like! Great beer. Cheap. Beer. Beer.....what a wonderful word. Beer. Soothing and foamy, and I get more attractive and funny after every pint!
http://www.3ravens.com.au/
Get back to work.
Cheerio
Neil
Wednesday 2 July 2008
Vegetarian Anger Subside!
Vego ire swells
Carnivores flee a spanking
Content, they retire
No, I don't get it either. But its time the vegetarians amongst us (you know who you are! Admit it! Come out free from the meat-lovers enforced closet of shame!) stood up to be counted...
If they had the energy to stand, that is!
Cheers
Neil
PS I'm ashamed at the lack of comments on http://neilslunchtimehaiku.blogspot.com/
Carnivores flee a spanking
Content, they retire
No, I don't get it either. But its time the vegetarians amongst us (you know who you are! Admit it! Come out free from the meat-lovers enforced closet of shame!) stood up to be counted...
If they had the energy to stand, that is!
Cheers
Neil
PS I'm ashamed at the lack of comments on http://neilslunchtimehaiku.blogspot.com/
Tuesday 1 July 2008
Digging for meat....
Vegetarian
Sustaining, nutrition low
Tastless grey gruel
At least you know where you stand, oh scrawny, complaining, animal loving vego. If you had enough energy, it'd be worth an argument!
Cheers
Sustaining, nutrition low
Tastless grey gruel
At least you know where you stand, oh scrawny, complaining, animal loving vego. If you had enough energy, it'd be worth an argument!
Cheers
Monday 30 June 2008
Vegetarians are tasty!
No more bovine treats
Vegetarian slimming
Anorexic me!
Yes, I have vegetarian pie for lunch, and so does Louise. I used prime, grain fed yearling vegetarians to ensure a full bodied flavour that is enhanced with a nice Reisling.
Crazy, crazy, crazy. I love the champagne comedy
Cheers
Neil
Vegetarian slimming
Anorexic me!
Yes, I have vegetarian pie for lunch, and so does Louise. I used prime, grain fed yearling vegetarians to ensure a full bodied flavour that is enhanced with a nice Reisling.
Crazy, crazy, crazy. I love the champagne comedy
Cheers
Neil
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